Fate has intentions

So, the boy toy gave me herpes. Yes, now, after several years of sleeping together pretty regularly, at a point where I was considering suspending our sexual relationship. It really makes my brain wonder and try to impose meaning and significance to the development. I mean, really, now? Things were slowing down, I was contemplating having a child with my husband, then bam, pain, mad crazy itchiness, extreme messiness, and a trip to the doctor. By the time they got back to me with the lab results I'd pretty much confirmed my diagnosis on Google Images. Yep, that's what I've got, let's see how horrible it is. Turns out it's really not that horrible and about a fifth of the population has it, many of them without knowing they do. It's not exactly a very feisty virus despite the social stigma, but it's really really uncomfortable when you first get it. I can emphatically attest to that. But now I'm diagnosed, I have medication with refills, and I will be ok, I just have herpes, which is annoying.
I've looked into how it will affect a pregnancy and it looks like the dangers are minimal. It's extremely rare to pass it along to the fetus. One needs to explain to ones obgyn that you have the virus and then they take pains to make sure you're not having an outbreak during labor which will result in them recommending a c-section. Dear god do I ever want to avoid one of those. I think I'll stick to my original plan and wait until spring to attempt getting knocked up. My system will have had a little time to battle the virus into some semblance of submission by then. It's just that it's one more thing, one more risk factor in something that I already consider a bit of a craps shoot. If this all works out like it's supposed to ideally, I'm going to breathe a very deep sigh of relief even knowing the roller coaster of sleepless nights I'm about to be plunged into as part of the joys of parenthood. Blah! This was hard enough a notion to entertain and I think I'm still....oops, was interupted and can't remember where I was going with that thought. Anyway, it's a struggle and this development makes it more challenging, but I know I will adjust and my outlook will change.
It's interesting and irritating that Jake seems to be avoiding me now too. He didn't answer the last time I called, and he's been very reluctant to engage in any banter. I mean, how does that work, he gives me herpes and then he wants nothing to do with me? Of course, he didn't know he had it, and learning that he did was probably somewhat troublesome for him but it just doesn't seem fair. Yeah, I know, life isn't fair. I just don't know what to do about it yet. He's my primary go to person for hanging out casually and my life is rather more boring without him around to fill those yawning chasms in my social life. He likes to kill time in some of the same ways I do and it's nice to have the company. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to get him to talk, he may just want out. I will probably try for a good while just to see if he eventually decides its worth it. He can be a little demanding in the desire to have an audience, and I would like for him to be ok with me being so inaccessible, but it's a complicated compromise. I know I've been stepping back since working full time as it has heightened my desire to have time to myself and people take so much energy for me to interact with. I know that has bothered him, but I don't know if it's something he and i will be able to find a tenable compromise on. And this development just makes it more challenging. We shall see. I'm certain much less hysterical and overwrought about the prospect than I once would have been.