cat's away

I sent at least $500 worth of clothing out into the world today, I hope. It should have been picked up by now. I will check when I get home. I thought I'd feel better about it. I did a good deed for a worthy cause, and I got rid of a bunch of stuff, though while utilitarian, was not of particular use to me, and thus burdensome to own. I do feel good about it, just not that good. There is more stuff I'd like to get rid of. In enjoy the idea of downsizing and hope it's something I can make happen someday. I've always liked the idea of a cozy nest, where the exterior belied the interior. Some of my favorite children's books were those by Francis Burney, The Secret Garden, The Little Princess. Sometimes still I drive through rundown neighborhoods and think it would be fun to rent an apartment there, or buy a condo, and completely refurbish the interior. An inviting utopia in the midst of havoc. I like having stuff, but not too much stuff such that it gets in the way. I'd rather have experiences.
I went to see Avatar yesterday with Jake. We held out and saw it in 3D on the IMAX screen, and it was just as stunning as all the rave reviews had implied. I see what they are saying about the conventionality of the story line, but it was good enough, and reiterated things that were worth saying. I liked the idea of the planet/moon as one giant, interconnected mind with more neural connections than the human brain. A mind that the inhabitants could literally plug into and upload and download to and from. And it was an amazing visual experience. I am glad we went. I'm not sure how determined T is to see it. I will find out when he returns from his trip. While I liked Avatar, it is nearly three hours long and my butt did get a little numb.
I've kept slightly odd hours this week, staying up later than usual because of Jake mostly. I'm surprised at how well I have been sleeping when I do go to bed though. I wake up sporadically through the night, particularly if his neighbors are fighting again, or if he is feeling cuddly. He's so incredibly warm all the time that while it makes me smile when he spools himself around me, it also inevitably keeps me awake until such time as he goes back to his side of the bed. It is funny that I get lonely two feet away from him and like to have some part of my body in contact with his.
I've been more self conscious around him than usual and he's probably noticed. I've never weighed this much before for any length of time and while I know I still fit well within normal parameters, I don't really care for the dimpling in my thighs, or the width of my hips. Losing this weight is proving to be more of a challenge than I've been up for as well. Eating lightly and running three days a week isn't enough like it has been before. I am going to have to at least temporarily find a way to cut back on my calorie intake rather severely, and I need to find a way to start working out at least some 5 days a week.
And so goes my year thus far. I'm still failing in the writing department. I'm working on a religious context for my short story, and toying with lengthening it, but half way through January and I've done no more than a couple pages of writing. All the same infrastructures are still in place and I haven't found a successful way to do anything with them yet. My mind continues to work on the issue, but even this blog is growing harder to maintain. Still, I want to remember, I like my details, and enjoy having access to them.