Omission

My birthday came and went but I failed to mark the eve of the occasion as I usually do. I was telling T about it and I commented that I thought I might have lost interest in doing so because so little seems to change from year to year and I found it somewhat discouraging. Maybe that's the case, it certainly seems like a reasonable assumption, and retrospectively the only thing that's changed at all in the past year is that I've done more writing than previously. I still haven't finished anything yet, but I keep encouraging myself.
In other news the fix the doctor did on me is turning out in a rather half ass and lumpy fashion. I would probably consider going in before my appointment with him except that I'm due to be out of town for the next week and a half. I hope nothing is too amiss and that it either goes away on its own or is readily fixable. Liposuction is just weird feeling. With luck I won't be too lumpy to do a little hanging out by the pool in my future. I could stand some relaxation.
It's going to be an interesting trip. In my discomfort and general crankiness I managed to start another longish debate with my spouse over science and religion. I managed to offend him pretty deeply and as per usual the entire argument seemed like a waste of time and emotional energy in hindsight. I actually got so irritated at one point that I left and went over to Jake's place for a bit. That was the nice reprieve of the evening and put me in a better mood. Unfortunately I simply went back home and started where I'd left off. Gah! I'll never learn. I did promise T I wouldn't ever do it again and I am pretty sure I can hold to that. I can care about him without giving a rat's ass what his religious delusions are. I need to keep my perspective and weigh the present against how much it will all matter in the end. The balance is still in his favor and strongly so.
I do feel sometimes that Jake might be easier to live with, and anymore when I get into these kinds of conflicts I think in the back of my mind that in a couple more months I will be financially autonomous, or presumably I will be, but I don't think these thoughts emphatically, and I would prefer not to uproot myself. Anyway, the lingering hostility is taking a while to dispel and I'm really hoping I haven't done any irreparable damage because T is awesome to spend time with when he's not angry with me and this could be a nice trip. I will do whatever I can to make amends.
It certainly decided me on whether to share my plan to loan Jake my car while I'm away. He's been having automotive troubles recently of the kind that require professional repair and it seemed reasonable to me to loan my vehicle to him while it was not in use by me. I trust him and he has an excellent driving record but I know it would not go over well with the spouse. It should be fine, he has spare keys for emergency reasons and can simply use those.
I have been so miserable today. It doesn't help that it's that time of the month and that I have a vicious hangover from over indulging at dinner last night. Half a bottle of wine followed by a martini is not a great plan. Perhaps my misery will elicit some sympathy and this will blow over sooner than later. I am always so startled by my emotional frailty. I know there are so many who have far greater issues to contend with but I'm so set on my life being easy and trouble free, you would think this desire would translate into more diplomacy in the things i choose to say and do, but apparently not so much. Gotta love being human.